Updated: Sep 1, 2021
These days some sisters bypass the millennium gentlemen and gravitate towards ungrateful men for a variety of reasons. Some women make the mathematical mistake thinking quantity not quality determines a strong relationship. For example, a sister stays with ungrateful brother because they have been in a relationship since high school but she disregards the fact of his constant cheating, manipulating ways and controlling demeanor over the years just to put up a façade that she has good relationship…or she proves to him that she’s his Ride or Die Chick. Relationships are not perfect; however, someone who loves you would appreciate your value and not deliberately hurt or hinder your growth. Here are some quick signs that you are wasting your time.
1. Mind games (Psychological Warfare)
Have you ever noticed that one moment he shows you positive attention then in a blink of an eye he completely ignores you? This vicious cycle is done purposely to make you feel that you have to pour more energy, time and effort into the relationship. This is what I call the Push and Pull Technique which works in his favor because he never has to meet you half way. The tables are turn in his favor when he deliberately hurts you and you end up apologizing for his mistakes. For example, you catch him cheating but he justifies his actions with some lame excuse that you give him way too much attention and therefore, forced him into the next woman’s arms because he feels the relationship is a lockdown. You blame yourself that you are too caring and moving forward you accept the fact that he may overstep your boundary but you don’t say anything just to keep the emotional level at ease. Your self-esteem is temporally damage and he takes advantage of it knowing that you will accept his constant mistreatment of you. You should never settle for less.
2. No growth
One portion of a great relationship means pushing each other to higher heights. No matter how big your dream is, both should be very supportive into making your dream a reality. However, when you have a man who is unwilling to push you in a positive direction it becomes transparent that high hopes are replace with low level thinking. Some examples of positive growth consist of being spiritual by praying together, inspiring you to get a higher education or having a healthier life style. This particular man does not support your aspirations. Instead, he is happy to keep the relationship off balance which provides him with more superiority over your well-being and some sisters confused controlling behavior as strong leadership skills. Good brothers understand the concept that your accomplishment equals his accomplishment.
3. No commitment (he’s my boyfriend, not my Husband)
Again, quantity is not the same as quality. Some women have a hard time distinguishing the difference and unfortunately, a good sister attributes are provided to an ungrateful brother who continues to enjoy single benefits in a monogamous relationship. Some examples of single benefits consist of coming and going without informing their partner, going out every weekend and dating different women on a regular basis. No marriage proposal over a long period of time means he is not ready for commitment. For example, you would not sign papers and put a down payment on a house unless you cannot afford the payments. Marriage is the same concept as it brings emotional stability, level of responsibility and maturing that otherwise would not be there if a man remains single. If a good brother can afford a pair of $300 sneakers every month along with a nice financed vehicle then he can definitely afford a ring to indicate that he wants you to be in his life forever.