Today I had the pleasure to discuss current relationships with my long-time friend Sarah to gain insight as to how her marriage continues to have a strong bond and what advice she may provide to our current generation. According to Dr. Alan E. Kazdin, PhD he mentions” 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” If people understand the concept of relationships hopefully in the coming years these figures will hopefully turn around and enjoy healthy monogamous relationships, enjoy.
Mel: How long have you and your husband been marry? What kept your bond strong?
Sarah: We’ve been marry for 33 years and counting. One important aspect is that he is my best friend and we always put each other first. If there were any negative influences pertaining to our relationship we would leave well enough alone.
Mel: That’s amazing; most marriages I know of don’t last for 2 years. I feel some people are quick to jump right in without getting to know each other. To see if they are compatible or how to handle disputes and so forth.
Mel: What do you think is the biggest difference relationship wise between both generations?
Sarah: The current generation is not used to making commitment towards each other. Always easier to walk away instead of resolving a problem, there will always be tough days ahead. People who are in relationships today have one foot in the door and one foot out.
Mel: I understand where you are coming from so why do you think there are so many divorces today compare to your era?
Sarah: I would say going in not knowing what marriage and commitment is about.
Mel: What do you think is the biggest element missing in relationships today?
Sarah: That’s a good question. I would say trust, commitment and definitely communication. My husband and I talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. We accept each other flaws. If he’s getting out of line I would tell him how I feel and vice versa, every day is not the same so we do a lot of comprising.
Mel: Very true, this is not the Disney channel where conflicts don’t exist. My generation I feel don’t understand the 80/20 rule. No one is perfect however you have to work your issues out. Which leads me to my next question, how did you and your husband last so long? What advice can you provide to this generation?
Sarah: Try to put your family first, friends come and go. You must also keep people out of your business. Sometimes they envy you or they are jealous of your relationship.
Mel: What do you think are 3 different components that can make a relationship last?
Sarah: Trust, commitment and love
Mel: What advice would you give this generation to maintain a long lasting relationship?
Sarah: Stay true to each other. Some people think grass is greener on the other side which is never the case.
Mel: Do you feel that a financial situation in a relationship can cause problems?
Sarah: Yes, especially with today’s generation. This economy is tough, however, my husband and I found a way to work around it and plan ahead when it comes to our financial status. Besides I was never the one looking for a big yacht, or a huge mansion. My mentality is as long as we have a working car to get us from point A to point B and continue to have strong chemistry, that’s all that matters.
Mel: Chemistry doesn’t exist in some relationships. One person will treat you like they own you as if you are property or something. What do you think are some of the early warning signs of a relationship which spells trouble?
Sarah: Lack of honesty, lots of relationships goes downhill because both parties are not real with each other.
Mel: Yes, very true. Lack of honesty for my generation I label it as “false advertising” because people pretend to be the person you desire until later on he or she shows their true colors. Insecurities is a red flag, for example a man or a woman going through your phone, it’s such a huge turn off.
Sarah: Yes, the last thing I want to mention is always LOVE yourself, which is important.
Mel: Thank you so much for taking the time out for this discussion.
Sarah: You’re very welcome Mel.