Don't Chase For The Sake Of Chasing

We hear this all the time that men are supposed to be the hunters and do whatever it takes to win a woman’s heart. That may be true to a certain extent but I would advise my fellow brothers to not take this at full-face value. Most men have been taught this method growing up including myself. Truthfully with this way of thinking, there is no balance in place between both parties and if a relationship was to blossom the structure or foundation will be lopsided. Let me give you an example….

I knew this fellow brother who’s been single for a very long time. He has a great career yet does not have a companion by his side. I noticed, whenever he sees a beautiful woman he gets excited (like a little boy in the candy store) and it sends out desperation energy which women can sense. A few reasons why he’s been lonely for a long time is related to his approach structure and preconceived notion of desperately chasing a woman until she changes her mind and settles down with him. For instance, it was this one woman he found very attractive but she was never attracted to him. At first, he would buy her gifts, give her money but over time it went from stage green (chasing) to stage yellow (desperation) to stage red (stalking). It became so bad that he took it upon himself to show up at her job unannounced and drive passed her gym to see if she’s available. That’s what I call the ‘Pursuit Indicator’ and also that’s a sign for my fellow sisters to look out for. After stage red, she decided to get a restraining order on him. I do feel that a man should engage a woman first, however, if she’s not attracted to him I would advise him to move on.

What I described is an inexperience or average man who may miss out on months or even years of his life trying to get with a woman who is not interested based on the 'chase' approach. The thing is you want to be non-emotionally attached and don’t give your heart away to anyone unless they earn it. When you meet someone who’s excited as you are it simply means you have mutual attraction towards each other.